Family Notes and Motes

[jjmaccrimmon]

Unemployment and the large amount of time at home has given me a lot of time to think about the past, present and future.

In the past, I've wondered why people I respected, were friends with and sometimes even deeply cared about have taken a hostile attitude to me. It took the words and explanation of a new and very dear friend to help me understand what I hadn't been seeing or perhaps better saying well. She pointed out to me that ever so often I phrase things or comment on a subject in a way that's phrased innocently enough to me, but because of how it come out or is taken, it comes off as just insulting enough to annoy someone. Fortunately she understood and actually explained this to me. It's frustrating because in Southern California, many people here never truly speak their minds and are far too quick to take offense. :: sigh :: On a wider subject, it would explain some things about my poor relationship with certain groups in the Kingdom of Caid, namely the OWS.

In thinking about this, it makes me wonder how many people I've inadvertently pissed off or even in thinking of last year at this time how things might have been different. Yes, color me stupid, but I still think about that young lady on occasion even though she regards me or the relationship as a mistake. Feelings ran/run deep even if that is over.

The present is so unsettled I'm not sure what to think. I’m still waiting on the place in Ridgecrest to send me the written offer and employment documents. I’ll call them today to see what’s happened. The company out at Edwards continues to check backgrounds and work on the selection or so I’m told. I e-mailed them moments ago. There is interest from companies in Huntsville, AL and Seattle, WA. Right now, I’ll take whatever I can. I genuinely believe that someone in Lockheed HR has been implying more to potential employers than what they told me at the termination meeting. If this is the case, I have a potential EEOC complaint to file. Joy… I just want a job and a means to support my family, is that so fricken hard?

After several twists and turns, I bought the tickets for the kids to fly over to visit their mom. The travel fund was spared a little because the ticket agent was willing to waive the rules for Brenna to travel as the adult in charge of Chris. The kids are getting excited. If anything the recent hot snap we’ve had here (102 F on Sunday), has made them long for the cooler summer with their mom. They head out on the 10th June. The kids are doing well else wise. Brenna is going to special movie feature tonight with friends. It’s a treat but a well earned out. She and Chris helped move a friend’s plants and such from San Diego to Oxnard Saturday. We’ll be back down in Oxnard next Saturday to help more.

The future.. Back on my birthday, I wrote that the future held hope for me despite the rough patches that I’d just pasted through (relationship wise). I still have hope that things should improve but my energy and exuberance is suffering from this ridiculous delay in employment. Funds are holding up but I can’t help be upset that those moneys would have been better invested or saved for other things.

Coronation is coming up on the 7th and there I will get to see my friend and associate Don Kelan step up to the SCA peerage of Pelican. It’s well deserved for him. I won’t mention what contributions I made, but I’m very very happy that he finally have been noticed for the good things he’s done and done and done …

Well that’s enough for now. Life’s been drama free lately and I’m happy for that.

Comments

[thegreatdoogie.livejournal.com]

many people here never truly speak their minds and are far too quick to take offense.

That's a problem all over. I've got pissed off people across the nation :D

[jj-maccrimmon.livejournal.com]

It's really bad in this area. Nothing is entirely real in So Cal.

[thegreatdoogie.livejournal.com]

I don't know about that...my trip to Carlsbad was quite nice earlier this year. If it wasn't for the insane cost of living, and the seriously farked up legal system in Cali, I could honestly see myself moving there. Then again, that seriously farked up legal system is a product of the easily offended, lol.

[jj-maccrimmon.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry.. I'm just in one of those funks right now and frustrated. I've been badly treated in the past by some of the unreal (pretentious) people in the area. There are some very real and very good things here, it's just sometimes hard to always see them.

[thegreatdoogie.livejournal.com]

Absolutely no worries....I've been in your shoes many times before (getting treated badly), I know where you're coming from :)

[selenesue.livejournal.com]

There's nothing wrong with Caid that getting rid of all those image-conscious Southern Californians wouldn't fix right up. /snort

I face a glass ceiling of "we don't like you" with an Order too. Screw'em. I do what I do and let them face the shame when I outdo them. Don't let "them" have the power to keep you from doing what you love.

[jj-maccrimmon.livejournal.com]

Image! That was the word I was feebly looking for in regards to here.

I try hard not to let them get to me and try to enjoy myself, but it hurts more than a little to do something for so long (16+ years) and passed over for so much so often. Yes, I step on my tongue more than ocassionally, but I try to be nice to those around me regardless. I stepped away a while ago, not merely for the ijuries to my hand, but because I was growing so bitter I felt it was poisoning it for my children. It took a major attitude adjustment, finding other activities like photography to balance things and the prodding of my wonderful children to convince me to play again.

I'll top that....

[the-celestia.livejournal.com]

...I face a glass ceiling of 'we don't like you' at the *grant* level. How's that for a reminder of what it was like growing up as the 'different' kid in public school?

t_C, unworthy.

Re: I'll top that....

[jj-maccrimmon.livejournal.com]

Ah the great unwashed masses. ;) I'm stuck at the same level as you are. I may have a grant level for service, but it's a Goute de Sange from An Tir (AS 31).

Re: I'll top that....

[selenesue.livejournal.com]

We must remember to refer to you as The Honourable more often, and make the blaggards go racing back to the Order of Precedence to try to correct us. And fail, of course.

Re: I'll top that....

[jj-maccrimmon.livejournal.com]

You know the funny thing is I rarely wear my awards and almost never stand on ceremony. I believe the OP is up to date, just not me..

BTW, know anyone hiring a down on their luck photographer / manager?

Re: I'll top that....

[selenesue.livejournal.com]

OWS is grant level too, actually.

And I sat with a harp and a dolphin and no advancement in my station for about a decade, and the day I vented to a friend that hey, I can do anything I want, what are "they" gonna do to me, not give me any awards? Ya right. That was the day I got hit with a Lux Caidis. So there.

This is not a competition, and if it were, whoever wins... loses.

Re: I'll top that....

[jj-maccrimmon.livejournal.com]

I agree, that its definately not a competition. Sometimes we're noticed, sometimes ignored, sometime reviled. At the end of the day, the measure is being able to look in the mirror and answer the question "did I do a good job today?" with the affirmative. So far through all the pain, that answer has continued to be yes mostly.