jjmaccrimmon | Notes and Motes

Creative block and stress are awful. I say this as both have been rattling my cage for the past few weeks. They’ve been a big reason behind why I’ve been away from blogs and cutting back on more than a few activities. Because the two subjects are potentially self perpetuating, I’ve been trying not to think of the ‘need’ to do certain things or the responsibility to post. The need to take care of family, pay bills and make the new house function will always be there. Worrying about how to pay for it, shouldn’t be as all encompassing. All this brought to mind a quote I saw from years ago: “Stress is the mental confusion caused when you restrain yourself from choking the shit out of someone who really needs it.”

While stress can give me a competitive & creative edge, too much was killing me. Pushing it to the side has helped. My creative muses have again been whispering nice things to me. This changed after weeks of them shouting for me to leave them alone for a while. I wouldn’t be attempting to write this if I wasn’t feeling a bit creative. That being said, I’m working on getting myself back in the flow without resorting to mayhem.

I cancelled or rescheduled a number of activities and shoots in the coming months to give myself some breathing room. While I’ve kept a few shoots and planned trips on the schedule, I’m forcing myself to be much more selective in when I’m available. No more of this having to schedule myself hour for hour even on the weekends.

I think another thing that irked me and helped set this frustration to a boil was responsibilities. Chris has added a number of activities to his plate and taken time from me. Michael has added more to his plate (including Scouting), which required me to step up and volunteer to be Den Master when no-one else would. In addition, I’ve got an endless plate full of house repairs and modifications which I’ve been steadily working on. No this wasn’t unexpected, just necessary for getting the house the way we want it.

Speaking of the house, I’ve been trying to get a lot of delayed work and eased projects completed before it gets too cool. For example, we’ve ripped out the carpet from one bedroom and discovered the (nice) hardwood floor below. We’ve now painted three of the bedrooms, hung pictures in the living room and hall (more to go upstairs). I’ve repaired all three toilets in the house, replaced a shower head and more. On the plate yet to come:
• Prep and install a door to the studio downstairs
• Pull carpet from the studio area
• Install track lights in studio
• Fix squeaking floors on bedroom level
• Set-up and build shelves in garage
• Replace both thermostats (modern HVAC systems outside but old style gear inside)
• Sand and oil the roll-top desk which had been in Brenna’s room (I need a place to work on bills)
• Hang shelving & curtains in Christophe’s room

Can you tell there’s been and continues to be a bunch going on around the new house?..

The house in Lancaster continues to be a burden. My newest tenant had been great. Paid rent on time, notified us about repairs needed and was a refreshing change of pace following “Josephine.” This is unless her mom was killed by a hit and run driver around the first of September. Between funeral expenses, mourning and the investigation, I haven’t seen rent for September or October. That has stressed our finances. On top of this, Tammy doesn’t have a tenant in her house here. We’re getting siding put on it in order to help sell the place, but it all costs money.

More to come..

Brenna
My new assistant / house guest
Photo activities
Halloween plans